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Author Topic: stay at home wife  (Read 33544 times)

DoodleBugg

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Re: stay at home wife
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2004, 03:05:35 PM »
Thanks,and maybe they truly do not understand our roles and I should understand that of them as well.
I know that one of the remarks I made to my friend was that I took care of what my hubby hasn't the time or energy for and it's a relief for him that I do it.We save big bucks because I am home to take the time to do it all and my house is imaculate as well.I put in as much or more hours than hubby does to.

I also have a twin sister who works all the time and goes non stop.I worry about my lil' nephew to,as she is on the run so much that she hasn't got time for him, because on the weekends and after work she is running so much she can't slow down and he is suffering for it. (staying home alone and calling me in need when he needs someone,problem there as they are fixing to move a couple of hours away from me,so I'm worried about that to)

I'm sure you have heard them all..how lucky I've been,and all the free time I have.Only if they DID understand and walked a few miles in our shoes,huh??LOL

A role I would have never given up and won't until the end.Time is precious and I've been here for them and I have no regrets about that at all.So sad my friend never even offered an apology or anything.
Again thank you and now I'll just look at them and remind myself that they do not understand!!

Linda



Query

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Re: stay at home wife
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2004, 10:36:41 AM »
I am also a stay-at-home wife / mom.

I think those comments you refer to arise from misconception:

I think most people have to or have had to be employed for a paycheck. They equate being at home to having a vacation or time off. People who work have to rely on convenience items or lower expectations to make a home and maintain a job. This leads to the assumption that the parenting, cooking, housekeeping etc that a full-time homemaker does (and I'm not talking about the ladies who lunch, but hardworking homemakers) is the same level of effort that the working person exerts in these activites, and the balance is like a never-ending weekend.

If my husband, who is a phenomenally driven career man, is going to succeed, he needs good nutrition, comfort, and free time. The same concept applies to the children. If I didn't provide that for them, they would still be driven to succeed but they would lack the advantage of a good operational base.

I'm an excellent home manager. It's my role in the family to "dwell on such things" so they don't become issues for everyone else.

I liken my situation to the person who is self-employed and loving it.

I hope this helps. I also get unpleasant comments, but I just realize they don't understand.

DoodleBugg

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stay at home wife
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2004, 01:49:32 PM »
Hi all,
I am a newbie here..well sorta,lol. I've been reading this board and all the wonderful tips you have here!
I started reading this after a long time family friend made a remark to me about ~maybe if I worked I wouldn't have so much time to dwell on things~.Needless to say it hurt my feelings and I shot off a few things myself,and have never heard back from my friend(it was a male).
I stayed home all these years and raised my kids. We have always managed to make it somehow.
They still live here,working and college and they help us as well.I have good kids and always prided myself on staying home,and raising them. They have never been in trouble and we have been extremely lucky.
I get so tired of ppl thinking I need to work,and how boring it must be and if we haven't much money,then why don't I work?
I am a candle maker as well,but have given it up until the first of the year after a major job loss with DH a year ago.He has a job now,and we are getting by.
I guess I'm old fashioned, but even with grown kids,I want to stay home and hubby supports that.
I still take care of things here like I always have.
I wanna know  what you tell ppl when they tell you such nonsense? I did tell my friend that I don't have problem children either and maybe if he and his wife didn't throw so much time into work they could work out some of theirs.lol.
Is it so old fashioned for me to want to stay home and be a stay at home wife even though the kids are grown?
I'd love to hear from others who are in the same boat..thanks for listening!!!
Linda

 

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