Remember that your wedding and reception are your party to celebrate your day, especially as it seems that neither you or your fiance has anyone to foot the bill for you. Do what you love and don’t worry about meeting anyone else’s standards. My husband and I put together a wedding with professional DJ dance for less than $1500 in less than 6 months, and we had a great time.
These days home printed invitations from your computer are just as nice as anything from an engraver, and can be much more personal (You’ll notice a theme, here … :))
If you decide on formal wear, your bridesmaids and groomsmen will foot their own bill for tuxes and dresses. Usually if you rent so many tuxes you get one free, so you can cover hubby that way! If you want to forego that expense, pick a theme that really means something to you: western, renaissance, biker leathers, whatever. Chances are that the people close enough to you to merit being in your wedding party will share common interests and already have clothes in your theme. This will also help with decorations, etc. Scan your friends for people to read or sing and play for you, if all else fails, play recorded music, we did!
Sometimes costs will depend on what part of the country you live in. The church and pastor’s fee was $150. GrannyFranny’s $175 VFW Hall is $50 here! :) The staff there set up a bar at no cost to us because they made all the money on it. We paid $250 for a dj system that was awesome and a lot of fun, but you could find someone you know to run a CD player for you.
Another couple we know had freezer and pantry space, so they made a master list for a 3 meat buffet. Each payday they’d go to Sam’s club and pick up a turkey or a huge jar of pickles or paper products, and little by little they got their food, which was cooked and served by volunteer relatives in a community center hall.
I would suggest spending at least a little on a modest professional photo package. We had ours done by a friend and I never did get the whole party in one picture, people kept wandering in and out. I would say the same for video. If you don’t want an elaborate “bells and whistles” video, you should be able to contract a videographer who will tape just the ceremoney or do a minimal package of ceremony and reception. But don’t trust it to a relative or I guarantee you will regret it. Two different, well-meaning cousins taped ours; the sound quality is rotten, you can’t see any faces, and there is a wealth of stuff missing.
Choose what you want to spend your money on very carefully, and don’t be afraid to forego things that don’t mean much to you. I had no fresh flowers; I’m not a flowery person. We carried tea lights in brandy snifters, cheap, gorgeous, and much more “me.” Our deco cake was a gift from a relative who makes them, my sister and brother brought sheet cakes and sandwiches as a gift from the bakery where they worked.
The people who truly love you will not mind contributing time and talents to your special day. (Just don’t be crass like another couple I know; they asked all their friends and family for money instead of presents so they could go to Vegas and elope! No Class!)
Show your boyfriend these lists and assure him that you can have a great wedding for not much money, so he should hurry up and make it official! Best of luck to you!