As a pastor, I often am asked by couples to advise them on financial difficulties like this.
Couples need to be on the same page! Draw up a budget . Put the “must pay” items first, rent/mortgaage, utilities, groceries/eat out money, etc. If you consider tithing or a percentage contribution to your church a basic, ::), that should be here (out in the open). Savings (we call this the “kitty”) come next. This sum should be determined by of you. Don’t forget to look ahead at likely expenses you need to save for – taxes, health checks, dentist, etc.
Then you have what is left. ;D
Here, you each have an “allowance” that may be spent without further accountability to the other.
Obviously a lot of us run out of cash before we run out of month. :o Here is where he can be of help. Is there a home based business effort he could use to make his own contribution to the family finances? Explore this possibility carefully. He needs to feel like a contributor – not a burden. He needs rewards for his role in the family – could be he has just been rewarding himself when no one else did. Just a thought. Blessings to you both. Remember, you are partners in this enterprise we call LIFE. 8)