There is a wonderful book by Janet Luhrs:Simple Loving, which seems to be a sort of companion to The Simple Living Guide which Janet also authored. There are some really fun, simple,imaginative, doable suggestions and examples of things others on the path to simplicity have done to find and keep romance while remaining committed to their values, including frugality. Unfortunately, most people have been socialized (dare I say “brainwashed”)by advertising to believe that bigger is better and that more,more,more,more,more should be our daily life motto. Anyone who deviates from this is often seen as strange, just plain nuts, or even a threat to the American Way of Life which is based on consumerism and tries to convince us that consumption/buying/acquiring stuff is what will make us happy. Well most people have acquired so much stuff following that theory, that a whole new business has sprung up out of this phenomenon. The Mini-Storages which have popped up everwhere almost overnight, where you pay them a monthly fee to store tons of stuff you don’t have room for, rarely, if ever use, really do not need and really never did.
But…HELLOO. IF getting stuff was the real deal that made us happy,why would we have to keep getting even more stuff and more stuff and more stuff? DUH!Is anyone getting this?
Sweetie, I would encourage you to live your life on your terms, based on YOUR values NOT what others think is cool or desirable in a date or a mate. Living true to who you are is much better than being with someone who thinks you are just going through a phase or that they can encourage you to get a ‘real’ job or a ‘better’ job (by their perspectives) and can help you get back on track with the things that really matter (to them and the socialized world).
Thoreau said something to the effect of Beware of jobs that require new clothes; I would add to that: Beware of relationships that require new clothes, because new clothes symbolize not only clothing, but ill-fitting attitudes, ideas, masks/facades who others want us to take on; or of who we think others want us to be if we are to be with them. When you find somone to be with, don’t you want them to be interested in and comfortable with who you are. Be real, be authentic. Many people will find that attractive and sexy as hell knowing you are real and true and not playing a part as a means to an end. BE YOU! Enjoy all parts of your life including the aspects of being single again. Blessings on your New Beginning.