thx lucia for the reply which expressed your deep consideration & it meant a lot to me…i would always keep your mail & read it when ever i will sad….as far as your advice is concerned i regard it but for me it is practically impossible….my husband is in army n they(army) do not have fixed working hours…rather they are 24 hours on call….
sometimes i cannot face my daughter….she is staring in air n it cuts my heart….if i somehow laugh on something ,,,the second thought that creeps in to my mind is ” how can i laugh when my daughter is in such a pain ful condition”……i know this is not normal but i cannot help it out…..we have decided not to have another baby for some reasons
1) my daughter was ok before 5 th jan 05……i have seen her playing n crawling n my dreams to have a normal healthy child are n will be fullfilled from her.
2)i donot want her identity to be lost…..i don not like to hear sympathising words from people…if i have another baby n he/she is normal people would say….thx God u have one normal child atleast……
3) i do not want happiness in my life …i want her life to be perfect….another baby would not lessen her pain.
you know we ( me n my hubby) are cousins….we are abondened by our family except my parents….ALL MY aunts n uncles do not meet us n they pass very painful comments to us…..i feel sad that my family( in laws ) not there for us.
i have lost all my friends….as they are married n living happily n my problems are strange for them….i m not jealous of anybody .i envy them……..aside from my husband i dont have anybody to talk to n my daughter has no playmates …..” she n her lonely bed room”