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[imported_pwilsonParticipant]

Hi-I’m a new member and found this website while trying to get ideas on how to establish a strick budget and pay off my high credit card debt  that I have kept from my husband. We both work and make pretty good money. We have our seperate accounts and a joint acc ount that the bills get paid from with transfers from both. Our spending habits are very different and when we got married and were single it worked out fine. It changed when we had  our three kids, one of which is in college. We had agreed that I would pay the food,utilities,clothes,insurance and all of our  own personal debt. He paid the mortgage and our entertainment and his personal debt. When the kids came my expenses have been getting higher and because he is never one to let me buy things for the house ofrthe kids he never contributes and I don’t have enough so out comes the credit card. I have accumulated almost $40,000.00 in credit card debt. He makes over $95,000.00  I make over $60,000.00 and with all my “bill responsibilities” along with the card debt I’m drowning.  He still handles the same bill responsibilties as when we were first married. I can’t go to him because we refinanced 2 years ago and at that time paid of some of the debt, but I never really told him of all of it. Since then I have contined to rack up the debt. I really feel terrible because I’m lying to him but I know that if I tell him he will divorce me. I think he has an idea but still continues to make me pay for half of the expenses  over and above our fixed expenses  for example home repairs and vacations. I have stopped using the cards now for about a year and half. I am paying more than the minimum on the cards but am getting very depressed about  the whole situation. Help-I could use all the advice there is.

[Anonymous]

i think the best thing you can do is to be honest.  if he really is going to divorce you over money, you shouldn’t be with him anyway, and in that case, if he does divorce you, courts will make him help you pay for your kids needs, and your utilities etc, based on how much he makes compared to you.  that’s the worst case scenerio, and it might be better than your $40,000 debt.  start by writing down all expences, devived between you, then write how much he makes and how much you make.  also, have your kids start making money for themselves.  there is no reason you should go into credit card debt when your college aged kids can support themselves,  i’m 23 and have supported myself since i was 18.  

[imported_twinsbeus2Participant]

I agree Honesty is going to be the first step I also would suggest going to a consumer credit counseling agency they can get the credit accounts under control by working with the accounts and getting the companies to work with you and your husband…Its a lot easier to fall into a pit of debt than it is to get out of it. Angencies like those can help you to not do it again and help you to keep in your budget. Finances can be very stressful on a marriage ..especially debt. Good Luck!!!

[Anonymous]

Can I recommend a book?  It’s called Debt-Proof Your Marriage and it’s really helpful in being honest with each other and yourself about where your money goes!  DH and I have managed to make a huge difference in our habits, feel better about each other in the process and we may actually have all of our unsecured debt paid off by the end of this year.   ;D

[Anonymous]

That is not a marriage, it is a weird partnership based on his desire to hored his money.  I am curious what he does with the money he has spare. You should have both incomes go into a joint account and all expenses go out of that account.   Expecting you to pay 50% of home improvements and vacation is absolutely absured.  If he divorces you based on your financial problems then so be it.  Any debt you have incurred will be spilt down the middle by the courts after he leaves.  

[imported_TobsterParticipant]

Sounds like you need to go on a money diet. All the reply posts I’ve read are good. As you explore this site, I think you’ll find numerous ways to save money and lower your expenses. Still, $40000 is alot to chip away at. You can do it! Take a cold hard look at your spending habits. I cover the mortgage, kid’s stuff, food, and half the entertainment, as well as half the home improvement projects. I only make $26000. Sacrifices are not so bad if you know what to cut. It can be fun, too. In my case, its an obsession!

Good luck and take care! You realize you have a problem and are reaching out to deal with it….good for you!

[Anonymous]

Hello~
I am looking for references regarding the debt into wealth program.  Has anyone used it with the results it’s claiming.

I appreciate any advice or info regarding DIW..
Thank you

[imported_rmathisParticipant]

Honesty is the best policy. If he loves you he will help you but be prepared to go on a strict budget. At least until all the debt is paid. He will not be happy but there will be no secrets between the both of you. Your marriage is a union between two people that promise to love each other for better or worse.

[imported_zoey]

It’s been a while since the last posting.  So, how did things work out for your?  I’m $12,000 in debt and have started putting myself on a strict debt pay-off diet.  Hope things worked out well for you.

[Author]

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